Dark waters

I had to go out there to understand
to remember
to think

the candles were beautiful
your portrait too

the soft light from the
flickering flames made your
face even more beautiful than I
had remembered

you were there, watching
sitting beside me in the snow
wiping my tears away

I looked over that railing
watching the dark waters swirl
beneath my feet
the sound from the water was soothing
almost hypnotizing and
pitch black

for a moment there I felt like
jumping over, letting God take
me instead

I chose not to
for I am afraid of death

and want to live.