I am writing to you here since I know you would never open the letter if I sent it to you by mail. 19 years have now pasted since you left our home with packed suitcaces to never look back. I was 5 then, a small little girl who who didn't knew much of the world. You left me to grow up without a mom, without any explantation or hint why you did what you did. In a blink of an eye you were gone.
If you only knew how bitter I feel at times, how angry and disapointed. I remember one time when I was visiting at the age of 7. You had moved a couple of miles away and I wanted to see you. I asked for a hug and you gave to me and then said: "is that enough, are you happy now?". My heart broke and even to this very day I feel the pain that pierced my heart that very night all those years ago. All I asked for was some love, some kindness but you were icecold. You had eyes black as the devil itself and that frightened me.
I was your firstborn, yout little girl who hadn't done anything wrong. I am mad at you mom and sometimes I really wish I could tell it to your face.
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6 kommentarer:
i feel sorry for your mom; she does not know what a talented daughter she has.
Usch vad ledsamt å läsa... att en mor kan behandla sitt barn på det viset. Önskar dig all styrka att en dag kunna säga det till henne, öga mot öga. Kram
only time will tell...and i believe things always happen for a reason...we might not know the reason now...but one day...one day ida :)
keep writing...
One thing more powerful than complete devastation is our ability to rise above it! Definately keep writing.
Wow! This is such a bare, exposing of your inner thoughts. We can't know what made your mother do what she did, but she must have regrets. How can you walk away from a 5 year old and not feel something?
I admire who you appear to have become in spite of this. I love your writing and am so fortunate that you have dropped in on me.
Kat
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