måndag 10 november 2008


I spent yesterdays night by the window like so many nights before, sleepless. Wondering about the wintermonths that lie ahead and how I am going to cope with this bitter fact. In a few weeks it´s christmas and that is my greatest fear, having to sit there among my loved ones trying to keep my spirit up although I´m dying inside.

Christmas is a joyful holiday for most but then there's people like me, who dread it and who would rather forget everything about that weekend.

I blame my mother for this you know, because christmas is all about family, love and friends, but my family isn't complete and therefore I mourn at christmas time.

I am scared for these months that lie ahead, I really am.

Tonight I am going to go out and face the darkness again, on my own just like I did yesterday. I clear my head while taking these evening strolls and a certain calm takes over my heart. This feeling helps me through my roughest days.

1 kommentar:

Claire sa...

Ida keep pressing on. God's everlasting arms are right beneath you, holding you, cradling you.

Blame leaves you without choice. Make the choice to celebrate, for there is always reason.

The blog caption is beautiful!