onsdag 26 november 2008

Dear mom

I am writing to you here since I know you would never open the letter if I sent it to you by mail. 19 years have now pasted since you left our home with packed suitcaces to never look back. I was 5 then, a small little girl who who didn't knew much of the world. You left me to grow up without a mom, without any explantation or hint why you did what you did. In a blink of an eye you were gone.

If you only knew how bitter I feel at times, how angry and disapointed. I remember one time when I was visiting at the age of 7. You had moved a couple of miles away and I wanted to see you. I asked for a hug and you gave to me and then said: "is that enough, are you happy now?". My heart broke and even to this very day I feel the pain that pierced my heart that very night all those years ago. All I asked for was some love, some kindness but you were icecold. You had eyes black as the devil itself and that frightened me.

I was your firstborn, yout little girl who hadn't done anything wrong. I am mad at you mom and sometimes I really wish I could tell it to your face.

6 kommentarer:

Pearl sa...

i feel sorry for your mom; she does not know what a talented daughter she has.

Arctis sa...

Usch vad ledsamt å läsa... att en mor kan behandla sitt barn på det viset. Önskar dig all styrka att en dag kunna säga det till henne, öga mot öga. Kram

shilvia sa...

only time will tell...and i believe things always happen for a reason...we might not know the reason now...but one day...one day ida :)

Claire sa...

keep writing...

jtrue sa...

One thing more powerful than complete devastation is our ability to rise above it! Definately keep writing.

Poetikat sa...

Wow! This is such a bare, exposing of your inner thoughts. We can't know what made your mother do what she did, but she must have regrets. How can you walk away from a 5 year old and not feel something?

I admire who you appear to have become in spite of this. I love your writing and am so fortunate that you have dropped in on me.

Kat